Upjohn Stories That Probably Shouldn't be Told  

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In every company there are amusing things that people did. The Upjohn Company had it's fair share of those. Here are some fun stories that employees have contributed. No names included. Enjoy! 

  • In the early 1980s I bought an English MG sports car for parts. I cut up the body into 4 pieces, put them in the back of my truck and under cover of darkness threw them on the Upjohn scrap metal pile at the back of the Portage site.

  • One time in the 1980s I had pork for lunch in the building 41 cafeteria and got food poisoning. Within an hour I was feeling so sick that I had to go home. I made it out to the parking lot but had to kneel on the grass next to Bishop Road and throw up repeatedly.

  • One hot summer day I was driving north on Portage Road after work in Building 259. I looked in my rear-view mirror and there was a blizzard going on behind me. Really, all I could see behind me was billowing snow in mid-summer! It turned out that some joker I worked with had put a large open box filled with white stryrofoam peanuts in the back of my truck.

  • I worked in Building 233 in 1982. That building is at the very south end of the Portage site, next to the Upjohn Park. Directly across Portage Rd there was a sandwich shop. Rather than drive out through the guardhouse on Center St to the sandwich shop, a co-worker thought it a lot easier to climb the perimeter fence and walk through the park. He saw one group having lunch but figured they would ignore him. Alas, it was a group of guards having lunch. They beckoned him over to them and told him never to do that again.

  • One manager in my building was having a hot romance. His girl would call him and leave steamy phone messages. This was in the days before the Rolm system when each phone had a tape machine. When he was out of the building, we would go into his office and turn the tape machine volume on high so when his girlfriend called we could all hear every steamy thing she said.

  • One co-worker spent so much time in the bathroom stall we would sneak in and put the magnetic name plate from his office on the stall door.

  • One male co-worker in my lab was having a secret affair. But I had figured it out. When she would call to talk to him, I would make a point of quietly talking to her for 5 minutes before telling my co-worker that the call was for him. He would be so mad at me.

  • One time a machine repairman made the mistake of parking his van in my VP's assigned parking spot. The VP was furious. He made one of his directors use a company car to block in the repairman in so he couldn't leave. Of course, Upjohn was paying that repairman by the hour so all this did was cost the company more money.

  • One dark winter morning I walked into my building very early and decided to take a look at a book in our library, which was a separate room. I walked in and switched the light on. Two people who worked in my building were having sex on one of the library tables. I turned around, flipped the light off and left the room. I didn't report it and nothing was ever said by the participants.

  • A day and evening at Brook Lodge resulted in too much alcohol and rich food being consumed. I had to throw up in that beautiful pond.

  • When I worked in Building 233 we used to have regular BBQs used a charcoal grill outside the front entrance. One day somebody outside another building saw the smoke from the grill and thought Building 233 was on fire. The fire truck arrived and confiscated our grill.

  • In the early 1980s we used to watch the Kalamazoo Air Show from the roof of Building 259. We got comfortable in chairs and had drinks. 

  • When speed bumps were first introduced to the roads within the Portage site, they were quickly added before any signs for them had arrived. My boss didn't notice one of them, went over it at speed and the muffler was knocked off her car.  

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